Whatever with Heather - Mindset, Parenting & Personal Growth

15. These 3 Quotes Changed My Life [they just might change yours too]

October 12, 2023 Heather Evans Season 1 Episode 15
Whatever with Heather - Mindset, Parenting & Personal Growth
15. These 3 Quotes Changed My Life [they just might change yours too]
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode I share 3 quotes that have changed my life and how they have impacted me. I think they just might change yours too.

Listen in and let me know your favorite. <3 

Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of Whatever with Heather. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome. If you are back for more, welcome back. First, I just want to say thank you for all of the feedback, all the reviews you're leaving, all the messages you're sending me about this podcast, about what we're talking about here. I am truly loving the journey, loving doing this. So thank you for being here and continuing to be here or, if it's your first time, for showing up for this episode. Today, I'm going to share with you three different quotes, thoughts that really have changed the trajectory of my life, that get me refocused, have gotten me recommitted in different times of my life. I'll share the quote and I'll share some of my thoughts about it, but for the most part, I hope that these thoughts will help inspire you into moving forward, into whatever the next thing is for you, the next version of yourself, the next life goal, the next step. I hope these quotes will help you feel empowered to move forward and step in to the next thing. The first quote is one I heard years ago and it really set me up to be in a different mindset when it came to working on myself, because we all have things about us that we probably want to improve upon and grow, or maybe even like shift or change about ourselves, and there's not necessarily anything wrong with that. But sometimes we come at it with a really shaming, blaming, guilty attitude to try to get us to change, and this quote does not allow for that. This quote is by Sophia Bush, and she said you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously. You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time. You do not have to be an either, or let's imagine for a second that you are only a work in progress. The way you are framing your life and viewing your life is as if you are not okay as you are. You are not good enough as you are, you are not worthy enough as you are, and how you are in this exact moment needs to change because it is not good enough. Who you are right now is not good enough. A lot of us are driven and move forward with this energy of who I am now is trash and who I need to be or want to be is worthy, and this line of thinking is really faulty in that it's very hard to motivate yourself to change when you don't believe you're worthy of change or growth, or the next version of you. And this quote allows you to be a masterpiece as you are. You're like well, how can I be both? But think for a moment who you were when you were five is exactly who you needed to be at that time, and who you were when you were 12 was exactly who you needed to be at that time. We do not arrive at being a masterpiece after we've done all the work. We just already are. Whoever you are in this exact moment has been created from everything that's led up to this. It's also created by the frame in which you view your life, meaning the way in which you see the world, the way in which you see yourself, the environment around you. And just because you want to strive for something else doesn't mean what you currently have right now and who you currently are right now is garbage, is faulty. You don't look back at your five-year-old self and say, man, you were such an idiot you couldn't do multiplication. You're like no, that's who I was and it was okay. Give yourself the same grace and peace and understanding that who you are now is a masterpiece. It's exactly where you need to be right now and you can be called forward into working on yourself and growing. Maybe being a better listener, maybe being kinder to yourself, being more patient any of these things that you want, any character traits you want, any goals you have, are also worthy, but they don't make the current version of you less worthy, less of a masterpiece. Whoever you become five years from now will be exactly who you need to be. You will be a masterpiece then in the future, just like you are now and just like you were when you were five or 12 or 18 or 23. I always think it's really interesting when you think back on yourself and that yourself and your current body is the exact same you. That was the you when you were seven. It's the exact same person, but how different are you? How much have you changed? See, we think that we just always are the same, but we are not. We are not always the same, and we think we hit adulthood and this is just who we are Like. We've arrived for some reason, and maybe it's because we frame adulthood from our childhood, and then, all of a sudden, we become an adult and that feels like a huge chunk of time, like from the time you're 20 to 100 as adult. But if you've been an adult for any length of time, you know that who you were when you were 20 is different than who you were when you're 25. And it's different than who you are when you're 30 or 35. And therefore you can know that who you're going to be when you're 40, 50, 60, 70 will be a different person. Yes, it will be the same thread, but who you will be will be different and you will be a masterpiece every step along the way and you're allowed to continue to be a work in progress. They are not exclusive. Both can exist and when you allow both to exist, you allow yourself to grow yourself from a place of enoughness, worthiness. I am good enough as I am and I can grow. I am good enough as I am right now and I can expand. When we are led to change and grow from self love, it is a much more peaceful, motivating place than when we try to motivate ourselves with shame, blame and guilt, try to shame ourselves forward, blame ourselves for guilt ourselves forward. What eventually happens is the shame, blame and guilt come back and actually stop us from forward growth. It's a vicious cycle. I'll talk about this in another podcast. It's a whole chapter in my book that is coming out soon on shame, blame and guilt being really bad motivators. But just imagine you're alive, being led because you're excited for the next version and not because you hate the current version. All right, let's do the second quote Now. I don't know who this is from, but it's a good quote. This was kind of the second quote after that first quote kind of got me going years ago. This next quote really helped hone things in for me, and the quote is get into the habit of asking yourself does this support the life I'm trying to create? One more time get in the habit of asking yourself does this support the life I'm trying to create? We can ask this question of beliefs we have about ourself in the world, mindsets that we show up with every day. So the things we repeat to our self to get through the day, our actions and the things we choose to do, how we spend our time and our energy and not just how we spend our physical time, but how we spend our mental time the things we think about, the things we do, are the things you're doing, supporting the life you're trying to create. Now, maybe you haven't thought about what life you're trying to create. Well, that's the first step. Like what do you want your life to feel like? And then, what can I do to help me feel that way? And then, as we do things and we make choices on how to spend our time and energy our physical time and energy and our mental time and energy we ask ourselves does this support the life I'm trying to create? For example, if you're trying to build self love and you stand in front of the mirror every day and say hateful things to yourself, does that habit, does that action, support the life you're trying to create? And the answer is no. Therefore, that actually needs to stop. It's an easy get rid of. It's very clear that it's not aligned with the life you're trying to create. We can also look at the people we're spending our time with. Do they help support the life we're trying to create, or do they keep us stuck? Now, this isn't their fault. Who they are is not a problem, but if who we are when we are around them is not the type of person we're trying to create, then these might not be people we need to hang out with. This is not a judgment on them. This is a judgment call for yourself on spending your time and energy doing things, thinking things that are supporting the life you're trying to create. We often think we need to make really mean judgment calls about people or thoughts or actions in our life. Like man, I really need to stop drinking blah, blah, blah, because it's just terrible and I'm a terrible person and I have no self-control. That's one way to go about change Once again shaming, blaming, guilting yourself. Or maybe you're like man. I want to wake up and feel really energized every day, and alcohol doesn't do that for me. So me drinking alcohol tonight does not support the life I want tomorrow. It becomes an easier no to the alcohol when you're saying yes to something you actually care about, versus shaming, blaming and guilting yourself. So the question does this support the life I'm trying to create? Becomes a really powerful question and the answers to these questions become easier yeses and easier no's. Now they're not in the beginning, because that's not how we framed our life. That's not how we've been asking questions. Some of them might be easy in the beginning and some might be really challenging. So be okay if they're challenging, be okay with needing to sit with something. Maybe you've taken something on your plate and you realize it's not in alignment with the life you're trying to create. You're too overwhelmed, you're too stressed out, and so you work on making a shift in that area so that thing can fade away. Sometimes it's not so like get rid of it cut and dry, and that's okay as well, as long as you're on the trajectory, the path of does a support the life I'm trying to create, you will get to the life that you're trying to create. Okay, and my final quote this is one really pushing me forward right now. So we have my quote from like the past, your masterpiece in work in progress. The quote that has a question I even ask myself now is does a support the life I'm trying to create? And the third quote is this 10 years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life. You didn't settle for it. 10 years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn't settle for it. Every day we make choices. This quote is about the daily actions we take to either move forward or just be as we are. Our brains like the path of least resistance, which is why habits are a thing, because our brain is like this is easy, this is what we do, this is easy, this is what we do. And when we let our brain run the show and do this is easy, this is what we do, then we start to settle into our life, not just settle like not reach the life we like, but also settle like we just chill into the life we have. It's fine, things are fine, it's all right, this is fine, and your brain will convince you that it's fine because it's easy. We also can settle for a life that we don't like. It might be that we're overwhelmed and stressed out all the time, but we feel like that's the way it has to be, and so we just settle like this is what life is supposed to be like. I guess we may be in friendships that are really toxic and we're like this just must be what friendships are like. I guess it might be in a relationship or a marriage that we're like this just must be what my life is like, I guess. Or you might have a relationship with your kids that's not what you want it to be and you're like well, this is just what this relationship is, I guess. Or you may have a really mean voice in your head and you might be really mean to yourself and you're like well, this is just normal, I guess. And so you just settle, settle, settle, settle, settle. You're like, well, this is just how it is, I guess, and this is what I'll do. But what if, instead of settling, you chose your life. You chose the way you spoke to yourself. You chose to work on your relationships with those around you. You chose to do things every day that make you proud. You chose to show up for yourself. You chose to keep your promises to yourself. You chose to be enough as you are right now and you also allow yourself to grow. What if you chose to read a book instead of scroll your phone? What if you chose to not be on your phone multiple days of the week and only check it as needed? What if you chose that you were never going to scroll again? What if you chose you were never going to drink alcohol again? What if you chose that and didn't settle for what your brain tells you you need, because it's the path of least resistance? What if you did more choosing in your life and less settling? What if I did more choosing in my life and less settling. Because settle can mean two things. Right, we can mean that settle meaning like you could achieve this, but you're just settling for this. There's also the settling like we talked about earlier, where you just settle in the comfort. Are you where you're at right now? Because it's comfortable, but you actually want something else, but the discomfort scares you. 10 years from now, will you wish you had done things to choose your life or will you wish you had just continued to settle? I love framing my life from future. Me, really, old lady me and none of us know how much time we have. So maybe old lady me is 60. I don't know how old she is, but what will she have wished she had done? Because she is me. She's also wiser than me. She's lived more life, she knows what she values. She's lived more life. She's lost things that I haven't lost yet. Ooh, does that give you gooses? It gives me gooses. Future you has been through more than current you and she's pretty freaking smart and she is a really good barometer to look at for future. You and maybe you look at 10 year future. You and she helps lead the show. And you look at old lady. You say you make it to 90. What will she wish she had done? Because she has lived more life and she has lost more and lived more. These are really good barometers frames to look at your life with. So, first, you are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work in progress. Second, ask yourself does this support the life I'm trying to create? And third, make sure future you can say you chose your life and you didn't settle for it. I invite you to just take one of these quotes and make this your mantra, your focus, your mindset for the next week or the next month, and then choose one of the other ones. Just focus on one at a time and see how your life shifts when you intentionally choose what you're going to use to lead your life. See y'all next week on YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform for whatever, with Heather Bye y'all.

Embracing Growth and Self-Reflection
Choosing the Life You Want
Create the Life You Want