Whatever with Heather - Mindset, Parenting & Personal Growth
36. Creative Discipline: The Secret to Blending Structure and Joy
In this episode I share the concept I created this year of 'creative discipline.'
Download My Free Habit Tracker: "Focused 50/Focused 14"
I describe my process of choosing this year's 'word of the year' and how it turned into putting 2 words together. Life is a dance of sorts, one where every step counts, bringing us closer to a life that's as disciplined as it is delightfully unpredictable.
Let's talk about turning the tedious into the terrific. This episode is about connecting the dots between our drives and our dreams, and finding that sweet spot where discipline fuels our creativity, not stifles it.
In this episode I share the concept I created this year of 'creative discipline.'
Download My Free Habit Tracker: "Focused 50/Focused 14"
I describe my process of choosing this year's 'word of the year' and how it turned into putting 2 words together. Life is a dance of sorts, one where every step counts, bringing us closer to a life that's as disciplined as it is delightfully unpredictable.
Let's talk about turning the tedious into the terrific. This episode is about connecting the dots between our drives and our dreams, and finding that sweet spot where discipline fuels our creativity, not stifles it.
Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of Whatever with Heather. Thank you for joining me. If it's your first time, welcome. If you're a repeat listener, welcome back to the podcast. If you love this episode or past episodes, please share with anyone anywhere. That's how this podcast grows.
Speaker 0:I have almost been doing this podcast for a year now and it has been such a fun journey and sometimes a challenging journey, and I'm excited to see what the next couple months holds, as we almost hit a year of this podcast, to see how it continues to grow and serve you in moving forward in your life or feeling heard or not feeling alone. However, this podcast serves you. I hope it continues to do that. That is my goal. Today's episode I'm super excited about and it is because it's a newer concept to me that I kind of stumbled upon this year as I was trying to figure out what my focus for this year 2024, would be and this podcast is applicable in any year, whenever you're listening to this, but every year I have typically done a word of the year and I pick a word for the year, and that is what I focus on. Doing this has really led me down some major paths of personal growth, and this year I was excited to pick another word, but I couldn't really settle on one. I was leaning towards the word discipline and I kind of started off my year with this word discipline, and if you follow me on Instagram, you know that I'm still using that word to guide me this year. There are a lot of things in my life that I am doing with discipline and keeping promises to myself, and I realized that the word discipline was not complete. It was not the complete picture of what I need and want moving forward in my life. Yes, I want discipline, but that's only part of what I want. I'm sorry, I'm getting distracted. There is a beautiful black butterfly flying around my garden right now. I love it. I don't know if I've ever seen a butterfly like this before, so I'm taking a little pause to actually watch it for a second, and you know how random that that happened during this podcast or how perfect that that happened during this podcast.
Speaker 0:So me recording this podcast is discipline. I am doing the thing I said I would do, and in recording this podcast, it always takes discipline. I think up topics months in advance, I begin to write about these topics and then, the week before I finalize what I'm writing about for the week ahead. Then I need to sit down and record the podcast, edit the podcast and post the podcast. That is very disciplined task. It takes a lot of making myself do it and doing the things I promised to myself and to you, but I realized for myself that living a life of just discipline is not exactly what I want. I also want freedom and flow. I want to enjoy the journey. I want to take risks, I want to try new things. I want to do the things I said I was going to do and find a way to enjoy doing the things that I said I was going to do. And that's where that butterfly comes in Creative discipline. I'm currently recording this podcast looking out a window where I can see my garden and I can see butterflies, and it makes me enjoy the process more. I found a creative way to enjoy my disciplined action more and then a butterfly shows up and made it more fun for me. So today we're going to talk about creative discipline and the balance of bringing these both into your life.
Speaker 0:So in picking my word of the year, I was asking myself when do I feel the most stuck in my life Like unmotivated, stuck, not going anywhere. And that's when I'm living life on autopilot, which you can probably relate to living parts of your life on autopilot, just moving forward on the hamster wheel of life. The wheel is spinning and you're getting nowhere, but you're running and you're making things happen. Right, you're, there's movement, but there's also not movement. Every day feels the same when you're stuck on autopilot and it feels like there's no forward progress. So then the question was well, if I feel stuck with autopilot, what makes me feel alive and that's not being on autopilot, and what helps me not be on autopilot is discipline, moving towards things I care about and bringing in creativity. Discipline alone is not enough for me to not feel like a robot on autopilot. The creativity is what brings in the fun and the magic and the flow and the variety that makes the discipline less monotonous and less autopilot.
Speaker 0:So there are two things we really need in life or at least I need and you probably need and want to and number one is to move forward. We all want to move forward. We want to move forward with structure and move forward in the expectations and promises that you have made to yourself, in the goals you have or the person you wanna step into. You want to become that, and that takes discipline and that takes keeping promises to yourself and the world is really turned which I love into people wanting more freedom, more flow, more flexibility, more spaciousness. And so, number two, the thing we kind of need is this flow, a time for spaciousness, non-rigidity, variety. So we have these two parts we want to move forward, and that takes some structure and some discipline. Right, we're not moving forward if we're running around in circles getting nowhere. There's discipline and steps forward that we take to move ourselves forward, and we want some flow and flexibility. The two words that embody that are discipline to move forward and creativity. For this flow and ease and freedom and fun.
Speaker 0:What we see a lot on social media right now, with influencers or even coaches, people that inspire you is morning routines and we see evening routines and we see productivity and all of these things are good because they are discipline, but what we are missing a lot, and why these disciplined things start to feel really monotonous and not fulfilling or enjoyable anymore, is because we're missing the creativity and we're missing the fun. Discipline is 100% necessary. We need to get things done, we need to take forward steps and have consistent movement forward. Discipline is what we use when we do the things that we know we need to do but we don't want to do, and lots of life is monotonous. There are things that have to be done that are monotonous, and so we get on autopilot. But adding in creativity and variety is what makes life feel enjoyable, exciting, gives us flow and freedom and helps us feel like we're not just stuck on autopilot or on the hamster wheel of life.
Speaker 0:Now, when we talk about discipline, there's these two types of discipline, and one we actually are sometimes pretty good at. This is the discipline for the things we need to do, the things that have to be done, and this comes semi easily, because these are the things that keep getting pushed to the top of our to-do lists because they are necessary and they must be done. We are usually okay at discipline with getting the things done that need to be done or have to be done, because there are built in consequences for those things. For example, dishes, laundry. There are consequences of no clean dishes, no clothes to wear, and not just you, but your children as well and your spouse or partner as well. There are consequences when these things aren't done, and so they easily come to the top of our to-do list and get done when they have to be done. Now, we may not do them as frequently as we'd like, but I guarantee you, when people don't have things to wear, laundry is getting done. We have the discipline to just do it, because the consequence is felt, it's real, and so we do the things that need to be done.
Speaker 0:Then the question becomes these things that are monotonous, can we have creative discipline with those things? Can I use creativity to make the monotonous more fun and enjoyable? And how can I make that work a hybrid of work and enjoyment? Now, we'll talk about that in a little bit. But let's also talk about discipline for the things you want to do little bit. But let's also talk about discipline for the things you want to do.
Speaker 0:These might be goals, dreams, ambitions or things you want to grow and improve in. These are not the things that get pushed to the top of our to-do list. These things are more challenging because we have to find ways to build in discipline for these things in our lives, because the consequences for the things we want are not usually immediate or they might not really ever come until the end of our life. These things are more long-term so they're harder to sense the consequences that come from the dreams, goals, ambitions, things we want to do or learn or become in our lives. It's harder to build the discipline around those things. These things are not laundry or dishes piling up. They are goals, dreams, aspirations that pile up unnoticed. We don't have to look at them, we don't have an immediate consequence. So discipline with these things is usually where we struggle.
Speaker 0:It is harder to be disciplined to get the things done that are things that will move us to the next level version of ourselves, the things that will help us with our health goals, relationship goals, financial goals, personal growth goals, mental health goals. These things don't automatically get pushed to the top of our list because the consequences are not so apparent, they're not so pressing, even though they may be more important. They might be the thing we actually truly value. The other things get pushed to the top and we use our discipline for those things. So when it comes to the goals in our lives, the things we want to move forward in the aspirations or the things we want to add into our life, discipline is important and creativity is important as well. Creativity becomes really important with goals, dreams, ambitions, because the path is longer. The path for me starting to ending the dishes may feel like a million years, but it's finite, it will end and then there'll be more dishes and I'll have to walk that path again. But our goals, dreams and ambitions the path is really long and so it can be challenging to stay motivated in those areas. And that's where creativity comes in, because with our goals, dreams or ambitions, if they were quick or really easy to achieve, we would have done it already. We would have just checked it off the list. But our goals and dreams and ambitions the good things take time.
Speaker 0:Saying we need to set ourselves up, to have creative discipline in moving forward in these things. The journey is long, so the journey should feel fun. We use creativity to keep us on the path and motivated to continue with the discipline we need to work towards the goal. So we need discipline for the things that we need and have to do. We kind of already have that right, it's built in and we need discipline for the things we want to do. That's what a lot of us are missing in our lives is the discipline there, and we all want constant motivation. We want to feel motivated, but we won't always feel motivated and lots of people will teach we'll just be disciplined, which is cool, like just be disciplined does work.
Speaker 0:But how can we approach discipline in a creative way that makes the discipline a little more fun? Let's take examples of the things we need to do. We know we have the discipline and we do them when they hit the top of our list Dishes, laundry chores, forms that need filled out, payments that need made, whatever it is. Let's talk about washing the dishes, doing laundry. These are tedious, monotonous, repeating chores in our life. How do we find creativity in making these more fun? Because we know they'll hit the top of our to-do list at some point. Now I'm sure you may already do some of these things.
Speaker 0:So if you do give yourself a pat the back because you're already exercising creative discipline, you are making the monotonous enjoyable or as enjoyable as you can. So while you're doing laundry or dishes or other things on your to do list, you could listen to a podcast, and maybe you only let yourself listen to the podcast while you're doing those things. You could listen to an audio book. You could watch your favorite TV show, and only watch it. While you're doing those things, you could turn on good music. Another thing I love is timers setting a timer, working for a set amount of time. All of these things bring something enjoyable with the monotonous. Why wouldn't we do that? Why wouldn't we find a way to bring in something you enjoy with something maybe you don't enjoy, like laundry or dishes, and if you enjoy those, then great. Add on another thing you enjoy On top of that.
Speaker 0:Creative discipline is about finding joy and fun in the things that we have to do. The things we need to do that we're already disciplined and get done. So now let's talk about creative discipline. When we're talking about the things we want to do, the goals, the dreams, the aspirations One of the easiest things for us to all relate to our fitness or health goals it might be. I want to move my body more. Now we can get really rigid and regimented in the right way to move our body and the right amount of time and give ourselves this whole checkbox of things we have to do. But if our goal is to move our body more and we're not moving it right now, using creative discipline is going to make this more fun for you. And just because something is fun doesn't mean it's not valuable. I think sometimes we think the fun things in life are, like, not as valuable. But isn't that kind of the point to enjoy, to enjoy our lives? So why wouldn't we try to find a way to enjoy the things that also take discipline, like moving our bodies?
Speaker 0:In order to find creative discipline, you could create a tracker. I've used this as far as checklists, or even a calendar next to my bed for goals or habits that I'm wanting to build, so that I can kind of see my progress, see where I'm showing up, and then, if I like, miss a day, instead of beating myself up. It's very tangible, very clear. Oh, you just missed a day, tomorrow you won't miss. It makes it very clear and very visual. You could also change your workout goal throughout the week. Like, maybe your goal, instead of I work out 30 minutes three days a week, maybe your goal is I work out 30 minutes two days a week and 15 minutes three days a week, and you change the length of time. So there's variety, there is fun, there is something to look forward to because it's different, it's not monotonous, it's a goal you have, you are disciplined, you do the goal, but you find a creative, fun way that makes it more exciting, find more flow. Maybe you just feel like doing yoga one day, or you want to try Pilates, or you want to try a dance workout on an app, leaving yourself open to. My goal is to move my body more. How can I make that fun for me? You could also do the same goal of only listening to a specific audio book or podcast while you are going on a walk or moving your body, just like with the laundry or dishes. Make it a double me time, where you are getting alone time walking your body and you're getting time to listen to something you enjoy.
Speaker 0:In order to prepare for this podcast, I actually have done an experiment with my husband for the past 21 days and I created a tracker. We each have six goals every day to hit and I wanted to see if us tracking our goals together we both have different goals, but we're both tracking our goals how that would help both of us. Now, I have tracked goals before on a calendar, but never with check boxes where I specifically laid out daily goals for this long of a period of time. I've done goals for like a week, but never this longer where I had to exercise really consistent discipline as well as using a creative tool like a tracker to motivate me. I also didn't know how much this would motivate myself or my husband to track what we're doing. So, 21 days of this, I can tell you that we both have hit all six goals almost every day, and the days where we didn't hit the goals.
Speaker 0:One of our goals, for example, is meditating. There is no time limit on this goal. There's no. You must meditate for 10 minutes. It's literally meditate, even if it's one minute. But there've been days where we missed that, and so we have allowed ourselves to make up for the meditation on a different day and do two separate meditations in one day, which checks the box for the earlier day. I am surprised how much these little check boxes they're actually not boxes, they're circles. So these little bubbles have motivated us to move forward in our goals that we have for ourselves.
Speaker 0:In 21 days, I have not missed a day of journaling. I can't tell you the last time I did that In 21 days I have not missed my goal of 8,000 steps. I actually did miss it a few days because I was sick, but I made up those steps in subsequent days. So I consider that a not miss. Do you see how we allow there to be flow? I did not expect perfection of myself, but I did have the discipline to rise to what I said I would do. So the days where I wasn't feeling well, I maybe only got three, four, 5,000 steps. And then, well, me, when I was feeling better, did the goal that I committed to do.
Speaker 0:There was creativity here, there was fun, there was discipline, tracking our goals. We both have been doing so well and we have talked about how crazy it is that we have done more in these 21 days than in huge chunks of our marriage, and it's documented. There are times where we've meditated or we have been consistent in things, but we don't really ever get the fun of seeing how consistent we've been. We don't really ever get the fun of looking back and seeing what we have accomplished. So having a tracker, a checklist of sorts, a gold star chart, like that's what it feels like. It feels like I get gold stars at the end of the day for doing the things I promised myself and I'm surprised at how good that feels. I'm also not surprised because we all like to be rewarded. We all like a pat on the back, and so we have to do that for ourselves when we're adults.
Speaker 0:Creative discipline is about finding creative ways to be disciplined. You can have checklists. This could literally be a sticker chart. Find some cute stickers online and give yourself stickers for accomplishing things. This is not childish. This is fun. It is okay to have fun and enjoy cute stickers or rewarding yourself even with something as simple as just some acknowledgement that you did the things you said you were going to do. This could be bullet journal pages where you're keeping track of these things. It could also be a blank calendar that's set up just for you to document what you did in regards to your goals.
Speaker 0:That was the first thing I ever used to really move me forward and really get taken care of myself and my mind and my body, and with this podcast, I've actually created for you, or sharing with you, the exact checklist bubble sheets that my husband and I have used. I have set these up to be called focused 14 and focused 50, meaning one of these charts is 14 days of focus and one of these charts is 50 days of focus on specific goals. I also have an option of setting three goals or setting five goals. Those are typically really good places to start and when you're setting goals for yourself, really give yourself some flexibility and not be so rigid in the numbers and the perfect amount for each of the goals. Definitely set some numbers for one, two or three of the goals, but for the rest of the goals, make them a little more open-ended, a little less structured, a little more checklist-y. If you meditate for one minute, you accomplish the goal. If you write in your journal one word, you accomplish the goal.
Speaker 0:The point is to build discipline in what you said you were going to do and to prove to yourself that you are someone who does the things that you say you're going to do. Proving this to yourself is so important. I guarantee you have let yourself down before. I have let myself down more times than I can even count and by using a checklist or some way to just acknowledge what you've done versus magnifying your failures. When you are marking off what you have done, you magnify where you were disciplined, you magnify where you kept your promises to yourself versus your brain, which, if you're not keeping track, that will just magnify what you did not do and did not accomplish. And creative discipline means everything that I have told you. And, as a bonus thing, creative discipline also means being disciplined in finding ways to be creative in your life, back when you were younger and you were in school, and you probably got a chance to do a coloring page or an arts and crafts project or paint or create a song or do something creative. That probably lit you up and made you so excited. And as adults, we have dropped so much of the time to be creative because we view creativity as being frivolous or nonproductive. But the people who have actually made the biggest impact in our world are not people who did the same thing as everyone else. It was the people with the most creativity.
Speaker 0:Creativity is a valuable skill. Creativity feels good. Drawing, coloring, creating something that didn't exist before, creating really fills a part of yourself. That will light you up. And if you're like, no, no, that's not for me, I invite you to give it a try. I invite you to buy a watercolor set. I invite you to get out some crayons. I invite you to turn on music and dance. I invite you to channel younger you, who would have loved the chance to be creative and create anything and show it to people and just create something for yourself, with no concern of if it's right or wrong, and begin to build the discipline in making yourself take time to be creative, for no other reason than because creativity feels so nice, it's so uplifting and makes you feel really present and really alive.
Speaker 0:So, with creative discipline, we find creative ways to be disciplined and we are disciplined in finding ways to be creative.
Speaker 0:You get to build your life the way you like it. You get to add things you love to your life. You deserve that. The people you love you know they deserve to get to do things they enjoy with their life. Why not you? Why does everyone around you get to enjoy their life but you don't allow yourself to do the same. You feel guilty. It's not productive enough, it doesn't mean enough. Give yourself the gift of creative discipline.
Speaker 0:If you're wanting the link to the Focus 50 and Focus 14 checklists, they will be in the show notes or in the description on YouTube. Those are my free gift to you. It's exactly what my husband and I have been using and I can't wait to see y'all use them. If you use these sheets, which I hope you will, at least give them a try, tag me and post them to your Instagram stories or share them on a YouTube short and let me know how it is going. And as my final thank you and my final ask, if this podcast, this episode or any episode has served you, please share this podcast.
Speaker 0:It means so much when I see a share. It means so much knowing that this is serving you. It means so much knowing that it can serve other people. At the end of the day, that is my goal and I love sharing this journey with you. What I am learning this is a newer learning for me. It's a newer understanding of that. I need creativity and I need discipline. I need both, and it's okay to need things that might seem opposing. In fact, that is what leads to this beautiful dualistic life where you're not just on a hamster wheel. Thank y'all for being here and I will see y'all chat with you next week on whatever with Heather Bye.