20. How to De-stress Your Holiday Season

Imagine a holiday season where you can truly enjoy the magic, joy, and peace without feeling overworked, stressed, or overwhelmed. We’re here to tell you that it's not just a dream but a reality you can create. As we navigate the holiday season, we often find ourselves succumbing to the pressures and expectations that come with it. But, what if we told you that you have the power to change that? 

We're sharing strategies on how to reclaim your holiday experience by mastering the art of saying 'no'. It might seem counterintuitive, but saying 'no' can actually pave the way for you to say 'yes' to what you truly value and care about. We discuss the importance of reflecting on how you want your holidays to feel and eliminating anything that doesn't contribute to that feeling. Tune in as we share practical advice and personal insights on creating a holiday season that aligns with your true desires and values. Let's put the joy back into your holidays!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of Whatever with Heather. Today we're talking holidays and the stress that can come with the holiday season. When the holidays come, there can be a lot on your plate, a lot that is put there by others and a lot you put on your own plate, and therefore we are overloaded. There's so much to do and we are partially to blame. Yep, guess what? If our holidays are super stressful, it's time to take ownership over where we are allowing the expectations of others to drown us. If you're barely treading water and then you take on more and more and more, you will sink. You will feel like you're barely surviving, and therefore, in order for our holidays to become less stressful, we need to take on less.

Speaker 1: 1:13

The whole thing we can learn here in practice, especially during the holiday seasons, is how to say no, no, thank you, no, not at all, not on your life, no, not doing it. No matter how you phrase it, saying no creates space for you to say yes to what you value. When it comes to the holiday season, the first thing to ask yourself is how do I want the holidays to feel for me, for my family, for those I love, and what can I do to help it feel that way. When you're asking how you want your holiday to feel, it's highly unlikely that you're saying over scheduled, very stressed, very busy, running around feeling like I'm drowning, not enjoying it at all. You're probably not saying any of those words. Figure out how you want your holidays to feel and then say no to anything that does not lead to that. If you're wanting to feel connected, you're wanting to feel joy, you're wanting to feel peace, you're wanting to feel the magic of the holidays, if we put on so many things, we drown out what we really want to feel and at the end of the holiday season, we don't really remember all the little things we did, but we remember how our holidays felt, which is why a lot of people start getting anxiety and stressed out as the holidays approach, because we remember, we have a memory of how they felt last year and the year before and the year before, and we don't believe they'll be any different, because we haven't experienced that. We haven't created that. This is your year to create that. Will some people be upset with you? Maybe, probably. But are you tired of being upset with yourself for saying yes to things you don't even care about.

Speaker 1: 3:05

You only get so many holidays of whatever season of life you're in right now, whether that's the season of no children or being single, or the season of young children, or the season of teens or the season of being an empty nester. You only get so many holiday seasons in each of these phases. Why would we allow anyone else's external expectations of us to determine what we will be doing and therefore how we feel for this really fun special time of year where the magic and the energy can be so exciting if we would just allow it to be your joy and peace? This holiday season will be determined by your ability to say no and to say yes in a way that is aligned with how you want to feel. In other words, your ability to have your holidays feel how you would like them to feel is dependent on you being able to say no to things you truly don't care about and yes to things you truly do care about. Maybe you are saying yes to so many things because you believe that's what's important to your family. One thing you can do is ask your family members and your direct family I'm talking like the people that live under your roof that's it is something that's important for them to do this holiday season. What would they like to feel this holiday season? And then as a team, you can work together to make sure you do and feel those things.

Speaker 1: 4:37

You may find that there are things that you've done every year that nobody really likes. You just do them because you feel like you should and if there are things like that and you find there are things like that, then get rid of them. Just because you're used to being very busy during the holidays, if the very busy is creating stress, then it is not what you actually want. Just because you're comfortable being stressed and comfortable being busy does not mean that's actually what you want. It may be that what you actually want is going to be in leaning into the discomfort of saying no to some things so that you can say yes to the feeling and vibe and environment you truly want for the holidays.

Speaker 1: 5:26

During the holiday season, whenever something comes up that I feel I need to do, I ask is this something I actually want to do or something I feel I should do? This should usually drop from my list and therefore my holidays feel really good and they do for our whole family, because I'm checking into what everyone truly values and what they want to feel and what things they want to do, and I find it's a lot smaller list than what we had been doing for years. Since asking these questions, I haven't had a holiday season where I felt overwhelmed, stressed, rushed, panicked, anxious. When saying no to things means saying yes to peace, the decision becomes easy. I hope you empower yourself this holiday season and the ones to come, for the short phase of life, the short chapter you're in, to create a holiday season that feels the way you want it to feel, that includes the things that are important to you and that you release the shoulds of everyone around you.

Speaker 1: 6:40

People will be very happy to add to your to-do list and make it endless and long, but they aren't living your life. They don't know how it feels. They don't know or probably, quite frankly, care if you're enjoying your holiday season. They're worried about their own. Therefore, it is your job to worry about yours, to start to say yes to what matters and no to what doesn't. Is this something I want to do or something we value as a family, or is this something I think I should do or should value? When saying no means saying yes to peace. The decision is easy. If you've enjoyed this podcast, if this has served you, please feel free to share on your favorite social media app, because I'm loving the feedback and I'm loving the growth and I'm so excited for this to continue to grow so that we can all become better, less stressed and less overwhelmed together, and I'll talk to you all next week. Bye.