Whatever with Heather - Mindset, Parenting & Personal Growth

23. It's OK to NOT: The Freedom in 'No'

• Heather Evans • Season 1 • Episode 23

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What if you could create a more fulfilling life by simply saying 'No'? In this latest episode, explore the liberating realization that 'it's okay to not'.   With each 'No', you allow room for values that resonate with your highest self, curating a life rich in fulfillment.

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Let's redefine the power of saying 'No'. Tune in and let's go!

Speaker 1:

Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of Whatever with Heather. If you're on my YouTube channel, I'm gonna do something a little different. I'm opening the doors of my office so we can have a Christmas tree behind us. This is not a Christmas episode, but it's happening at Christmas time, so might as well get a glimpse into our really fun Christmas tree back there. Whenever we travel or like, if the kids do a new sport or whatever, we get an ornament. So every year, instead of having a lot of like keepsakes or souvenirs from our travels or from our experiences, we have them all as ornaments and then we get to open them up and put them on our tree. So that's our fun little like family memory tree and I thought it'd be fun to have it in the background for this episode.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so when it comes to picking topics for the podcast, sometimes they come to me weeks ahead of time. Sometimes they come to me like the week of the podcast and the days leading up to the recording, and sometimes I have no idea what I'm talking about until I sit in here and start to think of what would most serve you. So today's topic is it's okay to not, and I'll explain on that more because that's a weird phrase, but this topic has been at the top of my mind because I just wrapped up hosting a four week program for women called Next Level you, and one of the big takeaways from this program especially for one of the women in the program was that she did not have to do more or add more to her list. And that's where the phrase for me for today's podcast is it's okay to not. It's okay to not set New Year's resolutions. It's okay to not buy gifts for everyone on your street at Christmas time. It's okay to say no to things people are trying to force you to feel obligated to do. It's okay to not say yes to things you wanna say no to. It's okay to not beat yourself up when you're not perfect. It's okay to not be happy. It's okay to not wanna get out of bed for the day. It's also okay to not wanna get out of bed and then to do it anyway. It's okay to not accept people's poor treatment of you. It's okay to not add unnecessary things to your to-do list. It's also okay to not add things to your to-do list just because you think you should.

Speaker 1:

It's okay to not put pressure on yourself to do more, be more, have more, add more to your life. It's okay to not be on a diet. It's okay to not be planning your next diet. It's okay to not burn out your body in the gym. It's okay to not do yoga. It's okay to not be sober. It's okay to not drink alcohol.

Speaker 1:

It's okay for you to not to not add in more, to not blame yourself, to not shame yourself, to not guilt yourself, to not drown yourself in the expectations of others, to not carry the sound bites people gave to you about you as a child or a teen or an adult. It's okay to not allow the voices of others to become your inner voice. It's okay to not put up with it. It's okay to not post about it on social media. It's okay to not allow your kids to have cell phones. It's okay to not worry about what anyone else thinks about your parenting. It's okay to not do all the chores and all the cleaning and all the errands. It's okay to not listen to everything. It's okay to not consume everything. It's okay to not be 100% up to date on every current event happening everywhere in the world. It's okay to not engage in political arguments. It's okay for others to not understand you. It's okay for you to not have a cleaning routine. It's okay to not have a perfect home this could go on and on and on, obviously, but it is okay to just not. There's nothing more we need to do or be to achieve peace in our lives.

Speaker 1:

I love personal growth. I love growing, I love evolving. I love stretching my edges. I like feeling like this is the end of my capacity to love or understand people, and then I love for that, to grow more. And also, it's okay to not be constantly growing and evolving. It's okay to push pause. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to not hustle. It's okay to take a rest. It is okay to find time to rest every single day and not hustle, hustle, hustle.

Speaker 1:

You are a human being, not a human doing. You get to be what you want to be, what you feel called to. You get to cultivate the feelings that you want. You don't have to do more. You don't have to add more. You don't have to do the thing that people make you feel like you have to do because they want you to do it. You can say no to other people and say yes to you and, as you say yes to you, you will grow in peace and joy and fulfillment and therefore the whole world is better. Because you are better for yourself, because you learn how to just not you do less, to be more you. You say no to say yes to your values, your highest self.

Speaker 1:

We often think that we need to be doing and acting and adding in the things to feel as though we are making progress, to feel as though we are contributing. But personal leadership, leadership of yourself and leadership of your own life also includes the things we say no to, the things we don't do, the things we just not. It's okay to not. My challenge to you and to myself is, before you set New Year's resolutions or New Year's goals or a word of the year or whatever you do to start the New Year fresh and I love a fresh New Year and I love setting goals. I know some people don't love it, but I do love it. I do love giving myself some bullet points for the next year of the vibe and goals I have and things I want to reach for.

Speaker 1:

But before you do that and before I do that, I challenge you to make a list of things you will not do in 2024, in the New Year ahead? What will you no longer do? What will you no longer allow? What will you not? What will you just not? What will you release and remove from your to-do list so that then, as you go to set goals or resolutions or adding in things, you've created space because you know what to say no to, or you know what just to leave behind, or you know what just to walk away from.

Speaker 1:

Could this next year or this next phase of your life, whenever you're listening to this, could it be the time, the season where you first take things off your plate before you add more in, or you start to practice how to not Imagine the spaciousness you would have physically, mentally, spiritually, time-wise on your schedule? If you could just not Imagine what you could create for yourself as a life, if you started learning what to not Not carry, not believe, not pressure yourself to do not do out of obligation or fear of not being liked, what could you just not? It's okay to not. We are about to jump into a new year and this is just the beginning of the next level of you, the next version of you, the next iteration of who you are. It's just getting started and I'll see y'all next week on whatever with Heather, either on YouTube or on your favorite podcasting platform.

Speaker 1:

Be sure to subscribe or leave a review, and since there's no way for me to really know who is listening but I know you are listening feel free to send me a DM on Instagram just to say hey and give me some thoughts about this week's episode or any of the episodes you have listened to and enjoyed. I love to hear from you. It's a little sprinkle of fuel in the motivation that helps me continue and keep going, and I hope y'all have a beautiful rest of your day or evening and I'll see you next week on whatever with Heather. Bye.