28. 4 Things I LOVE: Habits for a Good Life

Ready to revolutionize your daily grind with a splash of serenity? Join me for 4 life-enhancing strategies that promise to recalibrate the way you navigate life.

It's all about crafting a life that our future (and current) selves will thank us for.

Transcript

Four Favorite Tips for Better Living

Speaker 0 0:00

Hey y'all , welcome back to another episode of Whatever with Heather . Today , we're talking about four things I love , or my favorites for a good life . These are four simple things that I use in my life to help my life move forward , to help me feel less overwhelmed , to help me get unstuck when I'm feeling stuck . These four simple things have been game changers for me and I'm super excited to share them with you today , and you can take what you love and leave what you don't , but I hope to leave you with something that you can take with you and actually use and apply .

Speaker 0 0:35

The first thing that I love that makes a big difference in my life is meditation . Now , if you're not a meditator , you might like have red flags like no , I hate it , no , I hate it . Now I could just say meditation , but it's not just meditation that is my favorite . What is my favorite thing about meditation is meditation variety . Those may feel like two opposing thoughts . Right , we have meditation , which is stillness and being present , and then I have the word variety , which is a lot of different things . When I'm speaking about meditation variety , what I mean is that meditation does not just have to be sitting in stillness . I find a lot of power in meditation not being done the correct or right way , not getting stuck in rigidity around meditation .

Speaker 0 1:25

Meditation at its core is being here now . It is being fully present in the moment you're in . And wouldn't we all love more of that to actually be in the moment we're in . That's why we look back at parts of our life and we're like , oh , I miss that . We also miss it now because we kind of missed it then because we were always living somewhere else . We love moments of presence when we find them or create them . Meditation variety , then , is being okay with .

Speaker 0 1:53

I go on a walk , my mind is clear , thoughts come into me because I'm now clear and open and allowing thoughts to also be meditation , because now you were in the present moment with you and even with thoughts you can be in a meditative state . We need to get out of the mindset that there is a right way to meditate and a wrong way to meditate . Meditating is being here now , and then our goal becomes like how many times can I hit a meditative presence throughout the day ? When I'm with my children , can I actually see them ? I was baking with my son last night and being present in that moment is actually listening to him , actually speaking to him , actually feeling and paying attention when I'm helping him pour something in , instead of being all up in my head thinking of what I need to do the next day or distracted by this or that . Like being there , feeling with my hands , listening with my ears , seeing with my eyes . That's all the senses engaged while you are in whatever situation or process or place you're in . We can find moments of meditation while we're walking , while we're baking , while we're showering , while we're cleaning , while we're driving in the car or we're sitting in the car at our kids activities . We can find even one minute to just be present , to still the world around us and be in the present moment when you shower . A way to be meditative when you shower is actually notice the water on your skin , actually feel when you scrub your body , like actually being in the moment . You hear the water , you feel the water . Maybe you watch the water drip down the sides of the shower and that is your moment of meditation . It is being fully present , fully engaged in the moment you're in . Just to wrap it up , the first thing I love is meditation variety . No right way or wrong way to meditate , but finding more moments of presence , of being here now . The second thing I love and if you know me , you know I love this is that I love timers for productivity 15 minute timers , five minute timers , 10 minute timers .

Speaker 0 3:59

I think that many of us think that we become adults and somehow we just will figure out how to just make it all happen . But for me and a lot of people I've met , we need incentives . Housework can seem very daunting . It is . It's endless , especially things like dishes and laundry . Those are what I like to call bottomless chores . They don't ever really end . There's always something more to fill it back up and that is why they become really overwhelming and they're not very inspiring to do . There's some chores you probably do out in your house that feel really fulfilling , like that felt so good to clean . That Dishes and laundry are not that they are bottomless . They will always be being refilled by giving ourselves a set amount of time to do some of these bottomless chores or the chores that we just can't motivate ourselves to do , because when we create a frame around it , we create an end in sight . It's like if you were going to do a workout and you wouldn't know how long it was . It would be really mentally hard to continue through that workout . It would be a huge mental game . But if you do a workout , you know it's going to begin , you know it's going to end and it's going to take about this long . You now have a frame in which that becomes less daunting .

Speaker 0 5:11

Chores many times do not have a frame around them . Housework tasks do not have a frame around them . They could be endless . I could start cleaning my house right this moment and I don't know how long that would take till it was actually clean . It would take me an entire day for sure to do the baseboards and the blinds and all the things . So we create frames with timers . We use this with our kids as well . We do 15-minute family pickups where we set a timer and we're all putting in the same amount of time and we just take care of business . If a child's room is feeling really overwhelming , sometimes we're like you need to clean it till it's done . Sometimes we set a timer . There's no right or wrong in this , but you use the timers as a tool to help you , to help your kids , to help your family .

Speaker 0 5:54

If I have multiple areas in my home that need cleaned . One thing that I will do is I will select four areas throughout the day that I want to clean and I set 15-minute timers for each of them . Right now , if I had an hour to clean throughout the day don't even have to do them all in a row , but I'm saying that I want to spend about an hour cleaning today . The areas I would currently choose would be our master bedroom , the office that I'm currently in , and our garage and our flower beds . Those would be the four 15-minute areas right now that I feel like if I spent 15 minutes in each of those , I would move them forward really well . You can see how this becomes effective , because now you've made progress in four different areas and it feels so good . You can also use the timers for goals that you have . Maybe you want to write more , maybe you want to move your body more , maybe you want to meditate , maybe you want to go on walks , maybe you want to just spend 15 minutes a day playing a game with your family , using the timers to create frames so that it is doable . It feels doable Once again .

Speaker 0 6:59

When things feel endless , we avoid them . We don't want to do something forever , and when we don't create a frame , our brain thinks this is going to be forever . We know it's not forever , but our brain puts breaks on and stops us from doing it because it feels like it might be forever or it feels like it might be an hour , and an hour is more than we want to spend on it . We create frames so that we feel motivated toward action and even the times where we don't feel motivated , it's kind of hard to be like I don't even . I'm not going to do even five minutes . The times I'm very unmotivated to do anything in the kitchen , it's a five minute timer . I can do it for five minutes , just so it's better . Fine , I'll do it . I can discipline myself and force myself to do five minutes , and sometimes that's what you need . Be okay with short timers . Be okay with creating whatever frame you need for the thing to be doable . A five minute walk feels way better than a zero minute walk . Your kitchen , after five minutes of cleaning , is going to feel better than how it looks if you just leave it .

Speaker 0 8:00

We give ourselves wins quick , easy wins and there is nothing wrong with you needing or wanting wins in your day-to-day life . Otherwise it's just monotony . It's monotonous anyway in a lot of ways , but the frame helps us check things off , even if they're not completely done , and that feels good . Number two , as a review , is using timers for productivity or for things that you care about in your life . Number three is a paper planner , or paper planning For our family .

Speaker 0 8:34

I have a large calendar so that everyone can see the month ahead , and for myself and personal goals , I have this small notebook calendar where I write in my own personal goals . This does not have my family's activities in it . It's literally the things that are important to me , that directly relate to me , my life , my goals , and then for the week ahead I can write down what I'm going to do that week . I am not perfect at this , but the times I am good at this feels really good , and the times where I ignore this are usually times where I start to spiral into feeling stuck because I'm not doing much of anything .

Speaker 0 9:17

One thing I love about writing it is that it is meditative . We type all day , we're on our phones . The technology world doesn't feel super present , right , it's always somewhere else . When I'm writing , I am present . When I'm writing , I'm being intentional . I can't just type it out really quickly . I have to take the time and if I've taken the time to write it , there is more buy-in from me because I've spent the time writing it . It's another little trick to get myself to do the things that I say I'm going to do . I don't just say I'm going to do them , I write them . I have to look at them . I have to look back over the week and see what I didn't do . Or maybe I plan too much and then I learn the next week . Oh , the reason you are overwhelmed is you put in too much . Let's simplify . If I've invested my time , I'm more likely to follow through A paper planner for just yourself and your goals and the things you're working towards are great because it separates all of the things you're doing for your family , for everyone else , and lets you have a little piece of you and your goals and they're part of you and your family and all of that

Prioritizing Rest and Joy for Productivity

Speaker 0 10:21

.

Speaker 0 10:21

And at the same time , your goals and dreams deserve some time and space . So give them time and give them space in their own place . And then for the family , we have that big calendar . Like I said earlier , I also use Google Calendar and that's how I fill everything in and I can update events , but I like our calendar to be off our phones so the kids aren't checking their phones to see what is coming up for the week . Number three , the thing I love paper planning . All right , we're here . On number four , the very last thing . This is something I've done on accident at times and this is something that I'm now doing more intentionally and I am loving .

Speaker 0 10:56

It Is giving myself and my family at least one day a week sometimes two , of being unproductive . It's a day of not having to be productive . Now , if I want to be or we want to do things , you can . There's no guilt or shame in sitting on the couch and watching TV or playing games together or doing art together or baking something and making the kitchen a mess . We have this idea me too . I'm still working on this but we have this idea that the only thing that is productive is productivity , is action . But think about sleep and even recently , in the past few years , how much we've learned the importance of sleep . Rest is productive . We know it is Our next day . A lot of how it goes depends on how much rest we got , and the days where we get less rest affects our next day . Therefore , our rest creates productivity , creates action . It creates the energy and the space and the mental capacity to do the things we want to do .

Speaker 0 12:01

Imagine if you already don't have one day of non-productivity . Imagine what that would feel like . Now try to separate the guilt of not doing things but you literally have one day just to do whatever . It's almost like you're on a vacation . Right ? When you go on vacation , you're like this feels so good because I can just do what I want , be where I want and no one expects anything of me . Imagine that , but once a week , or if you're really busy , once a month . Just imagine what that would feel like if you gave yourself the gift of a restful , unproductive day . Maybe you go shopping , maybe you go see a movie , like it doesn't matter , you fill it with whatever you want . Your day could be full and restful . See what I mean ? It doesn't have to be a day of nothingness . It could be a day of lots of something , but nothing that moves you forward in anything , nothing that moves a needle , just a day of enjoyment . It's the guilt that you feel that makes those not productive days , those chill days , seem bad , but they are not bad . Just like sleep is productive , rest is productive , play is productive , fun is productive .

Speaker 0 13:10

If you need something to ask , like there's no way I could just lay around all day and do nothing , a question you could ask is what would make today enjoyable , or what would be enjoyable to do today ? You are allowed to have days of just joy , of doing things you like Make time for reading , watching a movie , as a family , doing something creative Think of like childhood freedom , like you have a free Saturday to go ride your bike with your friends , like what would you do , and then do that for no reason other than that you believe that you get to enjoy your life , that it is okay to enjoy your life . It is okay to have a whole day where you just enjoyed being alive , where you enjoyed your family , where you enjoyed going slowly , where you enjoyed running around and having fun together . Productivity is not the barometer of a beautiful life . If you think to 80 year old you , what would 80 year old you say was the measure of a beautiful life ? And then make sure you start doing more of those things and less of the things that 80 year old you wouldn't care about .

Speaker 0 14:15

So number four , to wrap up , is giving yourself one day a week of not having to be productive , a rest day or an enjoy yourself day . So the four things wrapping up Number one , meditation variety . Number two , timers for productivity . Number three , paper planning . And number four , one day a week of not having to be productive . If there's one here that you just feel like you need to add in , I invite you to add it in . Send me a DM on Instagram or comment on YouTube and let me know which one was like the one that you're ready to go for , or if you have more than one , let me

Balancing Productivity and Relaxation

Speaker 0 14:51

know .

Speaker 0 14:51

It's kind of funny to talk about productivity and non-productivity in the same podcast episode , but these things go hand in hand together . They both exist for a reason . They create this beautiful flow of life of getting things done and just being . We have kind of two tips right here for the just being , the meditation and the day of non-productivity , and we have two things for more productive life . You have setting timers and planning , and both can work together in harmony , in unison , working together to help you build a beautiful life . Thank you again for being here for another episode of Whatever with Heather , and I will see y'all next week . Bye .